I really hate the phrase "I can't even". So many teenagers (and adults, and adolescents, and kids) say that phrase all the time, and I HATE IT. What does that even mean?! You can't even WHAT?! Are you sure you CAN'T do whatever it is that you think you can't do?! Because I'm pretty sure you're quite capable of whatever it is that you're refusing to do or acknowledge or whatever.
Anyway. For some reason, I thought of that phrase when I thought of this post, and my life in general.
Usually, on Fridays, I post a review of a post-published novel (today's was supposed to be a review of Black City by Elizabeth Richards).
However, as some of you may know from Twitter, I no longer have my laptop. On Tuesday night, it just would NOT power on. I've never dropped my computer, or spilled anything on it, and it's never fallen off a table or bed or something. It's new - I've had it since August 2013.
Anyway, Wednesday morning, I go to the JHU IT center, and they don't know how to fix it. They offer to send it to Dell, since the laptop is still under warranty. Dell should get it back to me in A WEEK. Dell will either
a) fix the problem via replacing parts (such as the hard drive, battery, etc.) - in which my laptop's memory will be wiped :(
b) fix the problem, in which the memory WON'T be wiped (this is ideal but unlikely)
c) send me an entirely new laptop (which is fantastic, but then I lose all of my data and memory and applications, AND I have to start from scratch)
So. I have not been able to use my computer since Tuesday night. I'm a teenager, I'm a university student, and all six of my classes require the use of a computer. Heck, I'm in a PROGRAMMING class this semester. I had programming homework due Wednesday afternoon, and I wasn't able to do it! AND the professor wouldn't give me an extension!
Yes, I know the school has plenty of computers available for use. I know, believe me. But do I want to go to the library specifically to use their computers? I have to sit in a computer lab, with no table space, none of my already-logged-in accounts, no privacy... that's hard, guys. That's really hard. Convenience really is a beautiful thing.
On top of this, I've been sick since Sunday. Like, bad sore throat, terrible sneezing, congestion, stuffy and running nose (at the same time, what), no voice. As of right now, I'm feeling better, but Tuesday night? It was stressful and I was so sick. Wednesday? Even more stressful, disappointing, and still sick.
Oh and I have a huge exam on Friday. Whoopee.
A friend let me borrow his laptop for a few hours while he was at practice (he'll never know how much he means to me, even from just this super nice gesture alone), so as of 8 pm on Thursday night, I have caught up on all comments and replies, as well as I have scheduled this post for Friday, and I'm going to schedule Saturday's STS post right after I do this one (it's kind of dismal, so it's not much of a post - don't get too excited).
I'm a perfectionist, and I have not missed a day of posting on my blog, so I'm not going to start that now. In lieu of a review (ha, that rhymes), I have this sob story of my week (partially).
April really has NOT been treating me well (there is so much going on besides this), but at this point, I'm just kind of doing this. I'm powering through this s***storm/h***week/whatever the f*** you want to call it, because I REFUSE to let these kinds of things, the ones I can't control (ha, says the control freak that is me) command my life, my thoughts, my emotions. I don't think I've ever cried so much in life before Tuesday night, when my computer wouldn't turn on. It was just the LAST possible thing I needed, just one more thing to add to my already crumbling, drama-filled life.
Anyway. To sum things up, summarize, clarify, whatever. I have this post for Friday. I have the STS post for Saturday. However, until further notice, I may be on hiatus. I don't know if I'll have a post up on Sunday, or Monday, or Tuesday. I will certainly try, but I don't know. Right now, for the first time, I'm going to have to "forget" about my blog - for however long it takes for me to
a) get my computer back, or
b) set aside a steady amount of time to use the school's computers
I love you guys, my followers, my friends. Thank you, Pili, Alexia, Amy, Jessica, Kelly, and Alexis, for asking me how I'm doing, or giving me kind words of encouragement. Thank you, Victor, for doing more than you know, even without doing anything at all.
I love my blog. I love everyone and everything. You all are fabulous human beings and I hope everyone has a beautiful day! Happy Friday, lovelies :)
*sends tons and tons of hugs*
ReplyDeleteYou poor thing!! I really hope DELL can fix the lappy without you losing everything in it! I spilled coffee on my DELL last year and fried the motherboard... but after two weeks I had my laptop back with all my data intact!! I was really panicking about many things but losing all my back up and stuff for my photograhy and having to download Lightroom again and all that... not cool at all!
Feel better sweetie, we're rooting for you (and your lappy!!). We'll eventually manage to look back on these bad days (weeks? months?) and see that we were strong enough to get through everything!
Thank you so so so much, Pili, for all of your kind words and support! I'm very happy to hear that your data and whatnot was recovered.
DeleteI'm hoping that things get better for both you and me! All the bad obstacles just make us better, stronger people, right? :)
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? And I'm sure we're not the kind to roll over and die, so we'll be stronger for sure!
DeleteYeah!! Kelly Clarkson has the right idea ;) We got this, girl!!
DeleteOh wow. You are having a crummy week! Sending good wishes your way!
ReplyDeleteKnow how you feel about the computer situation. I actually had to get a new laptop because my poor baby--7+ years old finally became obsolete when Windows XP decided to stop providing support. So I went shopping for a new one and finally got it this week, only the stupid Windows 8 is driving me insane not working with me and to add to it all, I can't get onto the internet. I got on, then like 2 minutes later I'm booted out of our network connection and cannot find it afterwards. So yeah, there was a lot of screaming and cursing going on last night. And I ended up binging on Easter candy leftovers!
I'll probably have to contact one of my cousins and see if and when he might be able to help. Both are pretty tech savvy, way more than me at least. And I know zero about it all.
I hope Dell comes through for you soon as I know how much it sucks not to have a laptop. Luckily I still have my little netbook but it really makes blogging hard, so I would love to be able to use my brand new laptop for it. But for the mean time it's just a pricey paperweight.
So yes, I feel your pain too! Crossing my fingers for you that Dell helps out! And fast. Not sure anyone realizes how important laptops and internet are to us bloggers! They just don't get it! And yeah there's also all your school stuff on it too, which makes it even doubly hard to get by! Again, my fingers are crossed for you!
And back to the initial start of this post, that is a very weird and dumb thing to say. Luckily I am not around people who say that or I would be looking at them to finish the sentence. Totally stupid, I agree!
Crummy month, really. I'm glad you had Easter candy to cheer you up :D Thank you so much, Jessica! I'm suffering without the use of my laptop, but hopefully on Monday, it arrives in working order.
DeleteI say "I can't even" and usually I say it when I find myself speechless, overwhelmed by feelings that "I can't even..." meaning I can't find the right words to explain myself. Its interesting to hear that people don't like that phrase. I never considered it.
ReplyDeleteOn another note, my nexus tablet randomly turned off and wouldn't turn back on a few months ago and it destroyed me, but I sent it in for repairs and they sent me a new one no questions asked so hopefully Dell will come through and take care of you. Good luck!
I don't really care how you spin it, I really hate the phrase! But I don't hate the people that use it ;)
DeleteI'm glad that you got a new tablet! Hopefully things work out for me as well. Thank you!
Rough for certain and pretty dismal when they happen at the same time. I hope next week is better for you.
ReplyDeleteYup, it all came crashing down at once. Thank you, Sophia!
DeleteUgh! That is just no fun. Losing a laptop is hell for a blogger, writer, student...I'm so sorry! Consider this a vacation and then you can come back full swing, healthy and invigorated! I hope next week is a million times better than last week. In the mean time, happy Friday to you too! :)
ReplyDeleteNo fun at all :\ Thankfully, a friend let me use his computer for a few hours on Thursday, and then for most of the day on Friday (and now, Saturday morning/afternoon). It's a bit of a stressful "vacation", heh. Thank you very much, Rachel!
DeleteFirst of all, massive gigantic hugs to you lovely. I know it seems like this week has been craptastic all around and you wouldn't be wrong. Remember what I said about taking care of you. So many students no longer do that and it's important. I know how important it is to have a working laptop in college. The week before I had to do a powerpoint presentation as part of my final, my laptop crapped out. I don't think I had ever been under so much stress as I was that week.
ReplyDeletePlease take care of yourself <3
Craptastic is really the best way to describe it haha. But yes, you are more than right, Alexia. I'm taking care of myself but it's hard when I'm one of those people that stresses about EVERYTHING. I'm so sorry to hear about the presentation! I hope things worked out though? It was probably a huge relief to have that over with. One hurdle at a time!
DeleteThank you, Alexia!
Hang in there Alyssa! Everything will work out. That professor who wasn't understanding of your situation stinks and the friend who helped you is awesome! I hope they're able to save all your information. Ask them to contact you if they have to wipe it and see if they can transfer everything to an external hard drive if they can access it.
ReplyDelete*hangs in there* :D I'm trying, Chanpreet! Seriously though, I refuse to do the work for that class, if he's going to be such a dick. And the friend is seriously the best! I just hope things work out - but they always do, just as they're supposed to (good or bad). I did ask! We'll see what happens. Thank you, Chanpreet!
DeleteAww sorry that your laptop's broken! I'm sure your laptop will be returned to you perfectly fne with all your data soo and you can totally compensate for that assignment! But I hope that everything works out and that the school computers won't be too terrible :)
ReplyDeleteWhatever is wrong with it, I'm clinging to the hope that I'll get it back with the memory and data intact. Thank you, Eileen!
DeleteGood luck with your laptop! I understand the whole no privacy thing with computer labs which is why I hardly ever go to one. The times I did was just to print my papers. Lucky for me, my University had laptops for us to check out for a week. The problem was finding a library that had a laptop available to check out.
ReplyDeleteRight!? Thank you for understanding! They are not ideal to use! I wish my university did that… I feel like they should, with all the money we're giving them in tuition -.-
Delete*tackle hugs* Because you need them. <3 you hard girl. Keep on truckin'- you're almost there my friend. That is really crappy about your laptop! Especially since it's practically new! I'm sorry chica- that is frustrating! As for being sick on top of that and just stress in general.... it's ROUGH. I don't blame you for being upset. That's ALOT on one person!
ReplyDeleteTwo things:
1) Just breathe. It's going to work out.
2) Take care of YOU. I know you've never missed a day of blogging, but hun it will be ok if you do. Try not to stress about the laptop. (Easier said than done, I know) But focus on getting better.
<3 <3
Lots and lots and lots of hugs O_O I'm one of those people that stresses about every little thing about which can possibly be stressed. Blogging, school, being sick, finals… it's just a lot all at once, more than I'm used to handling. But, yes, you're right, thank you so much, Jess! <3
DeleteOh my! Alyssa, hang in there as things are bound to get better (I know what I'm saying too!)
ReplyDeleteI'm just getting over a horrible cold too, I think these diseases keep mutating, because it is my third week with it. I'ts like a super cold or something!
Also, computer issues are the worse ever. Last year my PC got a nasty virus that was so bad that I dreaded to sit down and blog. I finally gave up and got a new laptop. And you're right starting from scratch sucks!
I believe you, Liza! I hope you feel better - I know I'm definitely feeling a lot better than I was on Monday/Tuesday/Wednesday/Thursday, in terms of the sickness.
DeleteAnd hmmm, I didn't even consider a virus or something. Well, whatever it is, I hope Dell figures it out. And hopefully, my data and applications and memory will be restored. HOPEFULLY.
Thank you, Liza!
Oh no! I know I'm behind on commenting, so hopefully you've received some good news and/or felt better since writing this post. You definitely have a perfect storm on your hands. :(
ReplyDeleteAnd I totally understand the laptop disaster. I remember the horror I felt when mine burned out (curse you, Vista!). Luckily, due to a prior scare, I had all my school stuff backed up on Gmail, Google drive, Dropbox and flash drives, but I still lost a ton of personal files. Needless to say, I have never left anything important saved in less than three places. Feel better, and best of luck in finishing out the school year! Not too much longer now, right?
And yes, I join in your hatred of "I can't even." :)
Ha! Don't worry about commenting, girl, I know how hard it is to keep up. Especially with this perfect storm, as you have correctly named it.
DeleteI'm already one of those crazy people that saves everything to everywhere, but this caught me off guard, so I know I hadn't saved EVERYTHING. Especially recent;y downloaded content. Ugh.
Thank you, Kel! Solidarity ;)
Aww! I'm sorry to hear that you had a rough week. :( I completely understand what you're going through. I can imagine how hard it must be not having a laptop and being a college student. It hasn't happened to be before, but I would be a mess too. I've been having such a shitty quarter too. I just want it to be the summer already so I can go home and relax a bit.
ReplyDeleteYou're like the 4th person I know who has had issues with their Dell laptops in the past few weeks. 3 of my friends have been having trouble with it too and I thought it was strange how they all had Dell laptops.
I sincerely hope you get back all your files from your laptop.
*Hugs*
I know you already have a ton of bloggy friends, but if ever you want to rant about college, send me a DM! I'm a good listener! ;)
I just hate how everything happened all at once, at the same time, around finals week(s), you know? Ugh. I kind of hate Dell at the moment. I might get a new laptop altogether... it's just so much money to consider. GAHHH, DELL. I got to use a Mac in the midst of my turmoil, and I've decided that I like Macs! But they're definitely not the handiest for engineers.
DeleteThank you so much, Nick! I wouldn't say that I have a *ton* ;) I'll definitely take you up on that offer sometime! I happen to LOVE talking/texting/chatting/messaging LOL