I Can't Even. I Just. Can't.

I really hate the phrase "I can't even". So many teenagers (and adults, and adolescents, and kids) say that phrase all the time, and I HATE IT. What does that even mean?! You can't even WHAT?! Are you sure you CAN'T do whatever it is that you think you can't do?! Because I'm pretty sure you're quite capable of whatever it is that you're refusing to do or acknowledge or whatever.

Anyway. For some reason, I thought of that phrase when I thought of this post, and my life in general.

Usually, on Fridays, I post a review of a post-published novel (today's was supposed to be a review of Black City by Elizabeth Richards).

However, as some of you may know from Twitter, I no longer have my laptop. On Tuesday night, it just would NOT power on. I've never dropped my computer, or spilled anything on it, and it's never fallen off a table or bed or something. It's new - I've had it since August 2013.

Anyway, Wednesday morning, I go to the JHU IT center, and they don't know how to fix it. They offer to send it to Dell, since the laptop is still under warranty. Dell should get it back to me in A WEEK. Dell will either

a) fix the problem via replacing parts (such as the hard drive, battery, etc.) - in which my laptop's memory will be wiped :(

b) fix the problem, in which the memory WON'T be wiped (this is ideal but unlikely)

c) send me an entirely new laptop (which is fantastic, but then I lose all of my data and memory and applications, AND I have to start from scratch)

So. I have not been able to use my computer since Tuesday night. I'm a teenager, I'm a university student, and all six of my classes require the use of a computer. Heck, I'm in a PROGRAMMING class this semester. I had programming homework due Wednesday afternoon, and I wasn't able to do it! AND the professor wouldn't give me an extension! 

Yes, I know the school has plenty of computers available for use. I know, believe me. But do I want to go to the library specifically to use their computers? I have to sit in a computer lab, with no table space, none of my already-logged-in accounts, no privacy... that's hard, guys. That's really hard. Convenience really is a beautiful thing.

On top of this, I've been sick since Sunday. Like, bad sore throat, terrible sneezing, congestion, stuffy and running nose (at the same time, what), no voice. As of right now, I'm feeling better, but Tuesday night? It was stressful and I was so sick. Wednesday? Even more stressful, disappointing, and still sick.

Oh and I have a huge exam on Friday. Whoopee.

A friend let me borrow his laptop for a few hours while he was at practice (he'll never know how much he means to me, even from just this super nice gesture alone), so as of 8 pm on Thursday night, I have caught up on all comments and replies, as well as I have scheduled this post for Friday, and I'm going to schedule Saturday's STS post right after I do this one (it's kind of dismal, so it's not much of a post - don't get too excited).

I'm a perfectionist, and I have not missed a day of posting on my blog, so I'm not going to start that now. In lieu of a review (ha, that rhymes), I have this sob story of my week (partially). 

April really has NOT been treating me well (there is so much going on besides this), but at this point, I'm just kind of doing this. I'm powering through this s***storm/h***week/whatever the f*** you want to call it, because I REFUSE to let these kinds of things, the ones I can't control (ha, says the control freak that is me) command my life, my thoughts, my emotions. I don't think I've ever cried so much in life before Tuesday night, when my computer wouldn't turn on. It was just the LAST possible thing I needed, just one more thing to add to my already crumbling, drama-filled life.

Anyway. To sum things up, summarize, clarify, whatever. I have this post for Friday. I have the STS post for Saturday. However, until further notice, I may be on hiatus. I don't know if I'll have a post up on Sunday, or Monday, or Tuesday. I will certainly try, but I don't know. Right now, for the first time, I'm going to have to "forget" about my blog - for however long it takes for me to 

a) get my computer back, or

b) set aside a steady amount of time to use the school's computers

I love you guys, my followers, my friends. Thank you, Pili, Alexia, Amy, Jessica, Kelly, and Alexis, for asking me how I'm doing, or giving me kind words of encouragement. Thank you, Victor, for doing more than you know, even without doing anything at all. 

I love my blog. I love everyone and everything. You all are fabulous human beings and I hope everyone has a beautiful day! Happy Friday, lovelies :)